Self-Esteem Exercise - Accepting Compliments

I noticed a few years ago that I always play down compliments given to me.  So at the time I developed an exercise for myself where I had to accept ALL compliments for two weeks.

There are probably many reasons why people do this, but for me I hate the thought of being thought of as egotistical.  I also don't like the thought of being 'above' others.  However I think my behaviour regarding this concern over compensates and is therefore unbalanced.

I am not aware whether it is a British character trait or whether it only relates to certain people.  I have a friend who is really good at accepting compliments, I once said to him "So how good an architect are you?" and he replied "Actually, I'm very good".  It didn't come across as egotistical, but more self-confident and level headed.  I can certainly learn from this person.

In those two weeks it was very hard to accept compliments, but I did it anyway as I realised the benefits would outweight the short-term awkwardness experienced.  With practise it did get easier, so it's something that I still try and practise now.

It seems like a good idea to learn this behaviour of accepting compliments, and being more forthcoming with our own skills and talents if someone asks about them.  It will hopefully help others in a similar situation.

Mind / Body Awareness

It is important to be aware of the connection between body and mind.  I have always found it interesting that in the English language we have such phrases as "pain in the neck", "butterflies in my stomach", "gutted", "the world on my shoulders".  This implies that we and our ancestors have all been aware of this connection.

Years ago I had a very stressful job and decided to book a massage, with a registered physiotherapist, in order to de-stress / relax.  I soon found that the mind / body connection goes both ways.  If we relax mentally then our body relaxes, but we can also relax our bodies and thereby attain mental relaxation.  I used to go once a week and it had a huge impact on my stress.


I would therefore recommend anything that helps develop either body awareness or directly relaxes the body.  Some examples are:

• Yoga
• Pilates
• Tai-Chi
• Martial Arts (the softer ones, such as Aikido, but any could help)
• Massage or physiotherapy
• Swimming
• Gentle cycling
• Mindful movement (see mindfulness)
• Hot bath

These would certainly help us on the path to understanding the mind / body connection, and also allow us to directly access the stress.  Body awareness is a useful guide as it can give us hints to our stress levels... I used to get stressed over many months and it would build up over time, this could have been avoided if I had developed body awareness.